Ewgh

Last night at 2:45am I woke up to something crawling through my hair. I was having a great sleep, and suddenly I started to become aware of my bangs being pulled and played with. Once I actually woke up, I knew there was in fact something in my bangs. I could feel the weight of it on my pillow, and feel it's claws, paws, snout,  antennae, or whatever it had, going through my hair. I couldn't make out what it was, I couldn't tell what exactly was going through my hair, but something was. I ran my fingers all over my hair frantically in a panic and sat up and woke up Kyle. As I sat up I could hear something scurry away. "KYLE SOMETHINGS CRAWLING IN MY HAIR!" I did not sleep for an hour after that, and the rest of my sleep was awful because I felt itchy and scared of something crawling all over me. I dont know what it was. But I am scared of the bed now.

Shanny

 

 Today we received a phone call that Shanny had passed away. Shanny had been one of the families puppies ever since he (Shanny) was born. He recently began suffering from heart problems that are common in Boxers. I feel so sad to lose this member of our family. He was a sweet puppy. He weighed almost as much as me and he loved to lay on me (and other people) and squish me. His ears were soft and his nose was dry, his fur was pretty like an orange pumpkin. He pouted when you didn't give him the scratches he wanted, he kissed you when you were sad, and he snuggled you when you were cold. The first thing Kyle asked me after we heard the news was if we could say a prayer for Shanny. So, we got on our knees and prayed to Heavenly Father about how thankful we are to have had Shanny in our lives, and we are thankful that he is in Heaven with his brother Riley and his mom Sadie, and that he isn't in pain any longer. Rest in peace Shanny Boy, we will see you in heaven one day (:

Kyle Bear

I already wrote a quick post about Kyle's homecoming from Afghanistan. But, looking at the pictures again tonight, especially this one, made me want to write a post just about Kyle. This picture was taken at his homecoming. The Marines marched in in alphabetical order, and he ended up stopping right in front of me. The Marines all had to stand there until all of them had gotten off the bus and into the gym, it took about 3 or 5 minutes. In that time, everyone just stood there, Marines and Family alike. And my sweet husband was dead center in front of me. So close yet so far away! All I wanted to do was run up and hug him. If we could've gotten a picture of my face, I would have had just as big a smile on as he does. I hadn't seen him in seven long months. There were times when that deployment felt so easy, and like it would be over tomorrow. Other times it was the hardest thing I ever had to do, and I just felt like sleeping until it was over because the days dragged on and on. In the end, every day of it always comes out to be worth it. We have made it through so much together. A long distance relationship for four years - finishing high school, boot camp, school of infantry, Iraq, Afghanistan....There might have been fights some days, or hard times, times when we both just felt so tired - but through it all I have learned so many very important lessons. Here are a few I would like to share, which I may not be perfect at, but I still try my best every day.

1. Pray

2. Always be nicer than you think you should be.
3. Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
4. Forgive and forget.
5. Remember, it's just money.
6. Forget yourself. Be selfless.
7. Serve others. Be helpful.
8. Always say you're sorry, even if you don't think you're the one who needs to apologize.
9. Speak kindly.
10. Always tell the one you love, that you love them, every chance you get.
Kyle,
You are so sweet. Despite all the hard points, we did make it through another deployment - we can make it through anything. You are the love of my life, and I am so thankful to our Heavenly Father for putting us in each others lives and helping us make our relationship work. Handsome, considerate, funny, caring, talented, dedicated, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, Kyle Bear - I will never stop loving you.

Christmas is almost here!

 

We got our tree the other day! It's about 3 feet tall, but I think it is so pretty. I love to have the Christmas tree lights on when it gets darker and it looks so pretty and peaceful. 

We don't have a star or an angel that goes on top of our tree yet. Probably wont invest in such an item for quite a while until we actually have a house and are all settled in. So rather than spending 20 dollars on one we just put a little bow around the top. I think it's cute!

 We got each other 3 presents each, all for under 100 dollars! We didn't want to spend alot of money. Next week we are going to get my dad a few things since he is going to be coming down here for Christmas.

Tonight we are going to a friends house from church for dinner. Tomorrow is the Relief Society Christmas Party that I am singing at! I am looking forward to being able to sing.

When will we get a tree!?

The past 3 or 4 days we make plans to get a Christmas Tree but something keeps coming up and taking up our time. Last night it was shopping. Kyle had to buy a pair of dress blues for an upcoming event. They gave us no notice at all. He needs them to be cleaned, and tailored by Tuesday. We bought them at the PX on base, and they don't have a seamstress on the weekends so it wasn't going to be ready until Wednesday. But, out of the kindness of their hearts they bumped it up to Monday after 4pm. The event he has to wear them to is on the 8th. It's crazy how they tell you out of the blue that you need a completley new uniform in less than a week. There is a lot of extra stuff that goes into getting these uniforms ready and they have to look perfect for inspection. It coasted us about $400.00 dollars, which was $400.00 dollars we didn't plan on spending, so it was pretty disappointing. He looks nice in them though. His waist is a size 34, and can sometimes fit even smaller sizes, but he ended up having to get a 38 because his thighs are so big, and they are going to tailor them.

Yesterday I went to the doctor and peed in a cup, and they confirmed that I am pregnant. She told me that I was roughly 4 weeks and 6 days, which means today I am 'roughly' 5 weeks along! I will be going to the doctor again in a week or so to get some other tests done to make sure everything is okay. We can get our first ultra sound at 8-10 weeks. I was looking at a calender yesterday and realized how soon that is!! I am very excited. I am also very very tired. Tiredness is what I feel most. Last night I fell asleep on the couch around 7pm while Kyle was playing Call of Duty. (Black Ops - that he just bought. It was supposed to be one of his Christmas presents but he needed it now...) I woke up around 10pm to Kyle carrying me to bed and putting the covers on me and then he laid next to me and we went to sleep. How sweet! He is a sweetie.


It is really cold here and our heat doesn't seem to be working, so our apartment feels like an ice box. Yesterday I make cookies just so I could turn the oven on and see if the house would warm up a bit. I wish I had my bearspaw boots here.

Happy News!

Hello dear world. It has gotten cold in North Carolina, which I didn't think was possible. I have the heat on, but for some reason it feels like more air conditioning. Maybe it's not working. Kyle and I have recently returned home from a 3 week trip to Michigan, where we spent time with his family and puppies! It was so nice to see everyone and have a relaxing break. But, since being home from Michigan, some great things have been happening in our lives!

Kyle has applied to the University Of Calgary for accounting! We are both so excited, so soon we will be getting his acceptance letter in the mail. (Or rejection letter) But, I'm pretty sure it will be a letter of acceptance. This is exciting as can be. I am so proud of K Bear for being so hard working and being prepared. He also applied to take some courses offered by the USMC. They are kind of like refresher courses of everything you learned in High School. Unfortunately, he has been denied for scoring too high on the test. Interesting.

On November 30th, we found out that I am pregnant! We are so happy and so excited. Because of my miscarriage I am trying to stay somewhat calm and relaxed until the baby makes it out of the first trimester, and then I will really jump for joy. But, I have been jumping for joy already! I can not really contain my happiness. I have always had this prayer in my heart, but since November 1st, I prayed out loud to Heavenly Father every day. I asked him to bless our family with a baby, and he has! I am so thankful that prayers are heard, and that they are answered. All that is asked of us is to do our best, and Heavenly Father does take care of the rest.

Time has been going by so fast. Kyle has applied for the Early Out Program. If he is approved, we will be out of the Marine Corps by March (hopefully) instead of June. Either way, the time is close for us to start our loooong drive to Calgary. I am starting to wonder what will become of all our stuff and things. How are we going to get all of this to Calgary? I guess a lot of it will have to be sold or given away, and we will take what we can. And that is fine with me, because I am just happy to be going to Canada! My parents are the best in the entire world and are going to let us stay with them until we can get settled. It will be a BIG help since Kyle will be in school, and I will be looking for a job eventually. Kyle and I are both very pleased and excited that we have finally decided on a place to live. Calgary will be great! Eventually we plan on moving to a smaller place around Calgary, maybe Airdrie. I am so excited to be back home with my awesome family! Kyle has only seen my siblings a few times, so I am really happy that everyone will finally be able to get to know each other a little better. My family is the best, everyone is always willing to help, everyone is (usually) always really happy and kind to one another, I am so excited to have our baby in Calgary and sweet little James can be his bestest friend! Yippiieeee! Life is great.

There is a lady I know, who I have known all my life,
Who taught me to read, tie my shoe, use a fork, spoon, and knife.
She held my hand when I got stitches on my forehead,
and put band aids on my cuts each time they bled.
She tucked me in to bed each night,
and told me, when I was scared, that it would be alright.

Many other things has this lady done for me,
But none as important as the ones the eye can't see.
Like teach me how to pray,
and read my scriptures every day.
To believe in my Heavenly Father above,
She taught me the meaning of the word "love."

This lady I speak of, is my mommy so dear,
And I hope she has a happy birthday this year!

I love you mama bear!

What's been going on..

I fail at updating my blog. Kyle has been home from Afghanistan since Oct 1st. Technically, it was supposed to be Sept.30th, but the wait was so long they didn't arrive until the 1st. I drove on base around 7:30pm and sat there for a about an hour until my parents arrived. My mom was already here with me, but she picked my dad up at the airport who flew in for Kyle's homecoming. Once my parents arrived, so did more and more people, and the gym started to fill up. Everyone was on edge thinking they would arrive any second, but the Marines didn't walk through the door until about 3:30am. Needless to say, everyone was really tired. But, when I saw Kyle bear walk into the gym and end up standing right in front of me - I didn't feel tired anymore, just very very happy. I am so thankful he made it home safely. Kyle was literally in the middle of no where, in one of the worst parts of Afghanistan. He faced danger every single day and he didn't even get a scratch. I know it is because of a loving Heavenly Father hearing and answering the prayers of myself, Kyle and our families. I am so thankful for this blessing.

September 11 2010

Today we woke up and went to the LDS Book store...I bought some talks on CD that we listened to during the drive. The parts we have listened to so far have been really good, interesting and thought provoking. I also bought Jon Schmidt's CD, since we saw him last night and I really enjoyed the music. Then we went and looked in Desseret Industries. We visited my mom's cousin who lives just outside of Rexburg, ID. Then we started another long day of driving!

We drove through Yellowstone National Park today! It was really beautiful...so many trees, lakes, and animals. Mostly we saw buffalo. There were some moose, and elk, and I also saw a pellican. At one point there was a buffalo walking down the highway who went right passed our car! If I stuck my hand out the window I could have touched him, he was so close to us. It was kind of scary, but he was pretty cute.

We drove all the way to Rapid City, South Dakota. It was a long drive today...tomorrow we are going to see some pretty cool stuff around here! It should be lots of fun.

September 10, 2010

Yesterday was my last day in Calgary. My mom and I drove to Magrath and spent the night with my grandparents. It is always nice to visit my grandparents, especially since I don't see them very much anymore. I saw all my siblings and was able to say so long to them. I will miss baby James. This morning we woke up in Magrath, had breakfast, and started our long drive! We ended the day in Rexburg, Idaho. We went to a piano concert tonight at BYU Idaho. It was one of the coolest thing I've seen. The music was beautiful and it makes me wish I could play an instrument well. I think maybe I will learn one, but I can't decide on which to learn.

As we were driving today, we stopped every time we saw a cool looking church to take a picture of it! It is something we are going to continue each day of our drive..

September 6, 2010

I haven't written on my blog for so long. I haven't really had much to write about. The past few months have been hard, with very limited contact between Kyle and I. We have got our apartment all lined up, and my mom and I are starting our drive back to North Carolina in only a few more days! I am really looking forward to going back to Jacksonville, mostly though just to see Kyle. I thought that since I am leaving so soon, I would write a post on here about my family and how much I love them all. I will start off with my siblings - oldest to youngest! First up is my big brother John. I love John very much. He always teaches me new things, and is always there for me. He has been through alot and still manages to look out for others and put others before himself. Next is my sister Heather. We have always been best friends. We can tell each other anything and everything, and we always have the best times. Now my brother Trevor. What can I say about him? He is hilarious, and always puts me in a good mood. He is my buddy. Robbie! Robbie Bear. I think I have spent more time with Rob over the past few months than any other sibling...because Rob is always here. It has been fun driving him to work and then sitting in the hotel lobby for 3 hours watching TV with him. And last of all, I would like to mention my parents, of course. Mama bear and Papa. Just like any other child, sometimes I complain about my parents. But honestly, I couldn't have asked for better parents, or a better family. My parents are always looking out for all of the kids. They are understanding and always do whatever they can to help. I don't know where I would be if it wasn't for my parents. They are encouraging, supportive, and go above and beyond what they need to do. I am glad I was able to come home for these 7 months and spend time with my family. It has been good to see my grandparents and aunts, uncles and cousins on various occasions throughout the last few months as well. I am excited to go home, but I sure will miss my family.

July 4, 2010

Well not a lot has been going on lately! Kyle called the other day and told me some more scary news, and I am just glad that he is safe and protected. It is a new month, finally, which means we are one month closer to this deployment being over! The apartment complex we applied at called and said they have on available for us to move into, so we are both getting pretty excited. :)

1/2 Marines

click here
to read an article about 1/2 Marines, Kyles Battalion

Hey now, Porter, got an eye like an eagle!

Orrin Porter Rockwell shares his fathers name, only his has two "R"s instead of one. He was born June 28th 1813. He died June 9th 1878. As a young boy, he was adventurous, and bullied a lot. Bullied by a boy named "Zeke" and a few of his friends. Later on in life, Porter would have the rare satisfaction of catching Zeke commiting a few crimes around town, and blamming "The Mormons." Oh, how the tables have turned, Zeke! Zeke Fails!!! And Porter Rockwell does not fail. He is now added to my offical list of "Awesome People." I have read the first two volumes in a biography titled "The Porter Rockwell Chronicles."

He married a fine young lady, Luana Beebe, and had 3 little girls, and two boys. He was a true family man, but he also had a very unique duty to protect the Prophet Joseph Smith from those who wished to harm him. Porter's calling was clearly divine, because with as many gun, sword, and fist fights the man got into - you would think someone would have been able to kill him. But no! He died of old age and natural causes, just as Joe had said he would, according to his faithfulness.

Porter Rockwell reminds me a lot of my husband, Kyle. Maybe it is the way that they both seem to stubborn to admit they can't do everything on their own. Maybe it is the way that they are both incredibley loyal, trustworthy, and honest friends - seriously, no matter what circumstance they are in. Maybe it's the way Porter would seem to forget to show his true feelings to his wife. (Hahaha! I'm just kidding Kyle, you are sweet and romantic. I just wanted to tease you. Don't get butthurt, Schatzi.) Actually, Porter cared deeply for his wife, and that reminded me of Kyle, too. It is certainly in their similar sense of humor, the way they try to see the light and crack a joke even when times are difficult. Both of them are talented with a gun, and could shoot you from miles and miles away - so watch out!!! And when either of them want something - they find a way to get it, and then they get it. They are both capable of thinking things through quite strategicly (Something Kyle will probably tell you I am not capable of....). What really reminded me of Kyle, and the one big similarity that they shared is love and determination. Porter Rockwell loved his wife so dearly, and he cared for his children "so much it scared him." (quote from the book). He had an eternal love for his family. He also loved his Heavenly Father, and despite a lot of the time being too stubborn to admit that, he always did what he knew was right in his heart. He also never gave up. Never! He built, by himself, 4 or 5 log cabins for his family, and it seems like each time he finished one - they had to walk miles and miles to a new State, and build a new cabin. No matter how many cabins got burnt down, how many belonings got stolen, he kept on going. He was a good guy. He just took things into his own hands and shot a few bad guys, so what?

And my Kyle Bear is the same. Except Better. By a lot. No offence, Porter.

You can view a photo of his wife, Luana, by clicking this link.

http://www.emilyamandarockwell.com/index_files/page39.htm

(I think that picture will give me nightmares...)

June 22, 2010

(the above photo has nothing to do with this post - I just like this picture!!!!)

The PX Truck was supposed to arrive at Kyle's base the past few days, but so far - no such luck! I am disapointed, but I know it will come back soon enough and we will be able to spend a day together online, and I very much look forward to it. I just hope he is doing well and OK because I know it's probably just as frusterating for him that the 'internet' didn't come. I sent Kyle a package yesterday full of brownies and cakes in a jar, socks, and tuna. Delicious! I decorated the box with pictures of his two favorite Olympic Weightlifters - Dmitry Klokov and Illya somebody. I also put a picture of my favorite Olympic Weightlifter - Kyle Harrington himself!!! Speaking of my favorite Olympic Lifter, he is a video of him in action. I believe he is clean and jerking 275 lbs in this video. Can YOU lift 275lbs over your head? I didn't think so. I, for one, am impressed. Plus, that's not even the max he can do! He is talented.
Kyle doing a Clean and Jerk

Here is a video of Kyle cleaning 300lbs. I believe it was one of his very first attempts, so he didn't get the jerk, but he was still very pleased. And as was I! Good Job, Kyle Bear. You are strong.
300LB Clean

One more video of my love doing a 325LB front squat. He's got some strong legs!!
Kyle Front Squat 325LBS

June 19,2010

This morning, Kyle called me and told me he signed his re-enlistment papers. Another 4 years in Infantry, as a Machinegunner, he said! At first, I was hesitant to believe him, and rightfully so, because as the conversation went on, he started to laugh and told me how easily I can be fooled. So, No. Kyle did not re-enlist. Thank the Heavens.

June 6, 2010

Today was fast and testimony meeting at church. I didn't stand up and say anything, although I kind of felt like I had something to say. So I will say it here! During this deployment, I have begun reading my scriptures alot more. What I am finding, is that when I don't read my scriptures, pray, and do all those things as often as I should, I have trouble getting through a week without hearing from Kyle. When I read my scriptures daily, and stay close to Heavenly Father, I can go a lot longer and still feel okay without hearing from Kyle. I guess what I am trying to say, is when we do what we know is right, we are closer to Heavenly Father. When we are closer to Heavenly Father, we have the spirit with us. I feel at peace, I feel comfort, and I know that Heavenly Father knows Kyle and I. I know that he hears my prayers, and he keeps an eye on Kyle for me while he is deployed.

My parents, Heather, Gary and baby James and I went and played Bocce Ball today at the park by our house. Here are a few pictures I got...except Heather took any that I am in! Bocce Ball is a fun game, especially with my family!







Here are some pictures of Sweet Baby James I took today!

June 5, 2010

Here are some pictures I took today at my dad's Big Band's show.
Kyle called me today. It is always really great to hear from him, and it makes me happy when he calls more than once a week! I think he is having a difficult time lately, and rightfully so, but I am trying to think of something I can do for him to cheer him up. It's hard! Theres not a lot I can send to him because he doesn't have a lot of room to carry things around. But, I think the best thing I can give him is more prayers.

Photos

Some photos I took tonight in the backyard.

The other day, I made a submission to the "Saints At War" Project, which is being conducted by students at BYU. They ask for submissions for those who have fought in each major war in history, or submissions from family members who had/have loved ones serving. The submissions, along with photos (if you send pictures) go into an archive at BYU for students to use as references when studying members of the LDS faith in each war. They have also published many submissions into books, but I'm not sure how they decide which submissions go into the book and which do not. Here is what I submitted about Kyle, along with the picture I sent in, and it will be going into the archives!!




Last year, my fiance, who is now my husband, was deployed to Iraq with his Company in the USMC. His tour was 7 months, full of action and combat. Upon returning home, we were married, and a year later he has been sent to Afghanistan. This deployment is even more stressful, busy, and combat filled than Iraq was. Shortly after my husband, Kyle, left for Afghanistan, I sent an e-mail to the district president in Afghanistan. He later replied by telling me, out of the 750plus members of The LDS Church currently serving in areas all over Afghanistan, Kyle is the only one in his entire district. Talk about standing alone! This has served as a testimony to me that even in times when Kyle is litteraly alone, surrounded by combat, bad language, and many other things that would be easy for him to give into, he stands firm in his beliefes and listens to the promtings of his heart, and makes the right choice every time. Because Kyle is all by himself, he has been given the authority to bless and partake of the Sacrament for himself. Unlike others who are able to go to church on Sundays, despite being deployed, Kyle is in the middle of no where, in a combat zone, with no chuch in sight. For this reason, I send him Church Magazines in each package, share favorite scriptures with him in my letters, and always try to remind him that just because he is the only LDS member does not mean he is really alone, because Heavenly Father is always with him. During this deployment, I have recieved a strong testimony of Heavenly Father truly caring about each and every person's individual situation. I do not think either of us, my husband nor I, could get through this without the guidance and protection of God. Kyle has called me more than once, sharing frightening expiriances where the outcome should have indeed been death. But because of a loving and caring God, who listens and answers the prayers of Kyle and I, and our families, Heavenly Father is keeping a watchful eye on him. One such expiriance Kyle had told me about, was an RPG landing just a few feet away from him and his friend, while in a firefight, a few months ago. They both looked at it, stunned, because it never went off. What are the chances of that? That is not luck, that is a god thing! My testimony of prayer, tithing, fasting, and scripture studying has grown so much due to my husband's deployment. Most things in life really are blessings in disguise, if we just take the time to really look and think about it. I heard a quote in church on Sunday, where a father asked his daughter what she felt the hardest thing about being the only member of the LDS church in her school was. She replied "The hardest thing is believing that something is right, when everyone else thinks it's wrong, and believing that something is wrong, when everyone else thinks it's right." I, too, imagine that would be the hardest for my husband, as he faces this deployment with no other LDS members by his side. He does, however, assosiate himself with good people out there, who may not be LDS but share some of the same standards when it comes to certain issues. I am thankful that there are good people all over the world, and even though they don't belong to a specific group, they help strengthen their friends and are supportive and understanding. I am thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who I know answers prayers. I know he knows each of us. I am thankful for my husband Kyle, and the example of strength he is to all that he meets. I know that having the gospel in his heart is certainly a blessing for him while in Afghanistan.

Church History

Smith Family Farm house

Palmyra, NY.

The Sacred Grove

http://www.lds.org/library/display/0,4945,104-1-3-4,00.html

Different Languages

The Book Of Mormon is translated into nearly every language, including ASL.

Printing Press

This is where the first copies of the Book Of Mormon were printed. All this work was done by hand. From the printing to the binding. Each letter was individually placed on a sheet, covered in ink, upside down and backwards, so that it would appear correctly on the pages.

An Original Copy

One of the prettiest looking books I've ever seen!
http://scriptures.lds.org/bm/content

Kirtland Temple

The Kirtland Temple is owned by "The Community Of Christ".
http://www.kirtlandtemple.org/

Nauvoo Temple


Nauvoo Temple

The Nauvoo Temple was burnt down after it was originally built. It was reconstructed to look exactly as it did before it burnt down.
http://www.nauvootemple.com/

Door in Liberty Jail

This door is original. There are 2 bullet holes in the door, one of which killed Hyrum Smith.

Outside view of Window

When Joseph Smith was shot, he fell through the top window.
http://www.lds.org/placestovisit/location/0,10634,1811-1-1-1,00.html

Winter Quarters Temple

This is the only temple not named after the city it is in. There is a graveyard beside it where hundred of LDS pioneers were burried when they passed through here.
http://www.lds.org/placestovisit/location/0,10634,1837-1-1-1,00.html


Seeing all the LDS Church History first hand was my favorite trip I have been on. When you see first hand, and hear some of the things those people had to go through, you realise alot! For example, how blessed we all are to live in a time where we can believe and think what we want without getting run out of our homes, beat up, or even killed. Especially in Palmyra, when we learned more about The Smith family, I really realised that Heavenly Father knows everyone individually, and he puts things, events, and other people, in our life for a purpose. Sometimes things don't work out the way we want them to, but if we look close enough, there is always a reason. I gained a strong testimony during this trip of what the Gospel is really about.It is about doing the best you can do, being kind, sharing, and loving one another. I never want to tell someone what they think is wrong, because it's not. It's sort of like, if someone is doing a puzzle, and there are a few pieces that have not been put together yet - you don't tell them they've done the puzzle wrong, do you? No, because they haven't. There are just a few pieces missing.