1/2 Marines

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Hey now, Porter, got an eye like an eagle!

Orrin Porter Rockwell shares his fathers name, only his has two "R"s instead of one. He was born June 28th 1813. He died June 9th 1878. As a young boy, he was adventurous, and bullied a lot. Bullied by a boy named "Zeke" and a few of his friends. Later on in life, Porter would have the rare satisfaction of catching Zeke commiting a few crimes around town, and blamming "The Mormons." Oh, how the tables have turned, Zeke! Zeke Fails!!! And Porter Rockwell does not fail. He is now added to my offical list of "Awesome People." I have read the first two volumes in a biography titled "The Porter Rockwell Chronicles."

He married a fine young lady, Luana Beebe, and had 3 little girls, and two boys. He was a true family man, but he also had a very unique duty to protect the Prophet Joseph Smith from those who wished to harm him. Porter's calling was clearly divine, because with as many gun, sword, and fist fights the man got into - you would think someone would have been able to kill him. But no! He died of old age and natural causes, just as Joe had said he would, according to his faithfulness.

Porter Rockwell reminds me a lot of my husband, Kyle. Maybe it is the way that they both seem to stubborn to admit they can't do everything on their own. Maybe it is the way that they are both incredibley loyal, trustworthy, and honest friends - seriously, no matter what circumstance they are in. Maybe it's the way Porter would seem to forget to show his true feelings to his wife. (Hahaha! I'm just kidding Kyle, you are sweet and romantic. I just wanted to tease you. Don't get butthurt, Schatzi.) Actually, Porter cared deeply for his wife, and that reminded me of Kyle, too. It is certainly in their similar sense of humor, the way they try to see the light and crack a joke even when times are difficult. Both of them are talented with a gun, and could shoot you from miles and miles away - so watch out!!! And when either of them want something - they find a way to get it, and then they get it. They are both capable of thinking things through quite strategicly (Something Kyle will probably tell you I am not capable of....). What really reminded me of Kyle, and the one big similarity that they shared is love and determination. Porter Rockwell loved his wife so dearly, and he cared for his children "so much it scared him." (quote from the book). He had an eternal love for his family. He also loved his Heavenly Father, and despite a lot of the time being too stubborn to admit that, he always did what he knew was right in his heart. He also never gave up. Never! He built, by himself, 4 or 5 log cabins for his family, and it seems like each time he finished one - they had to walk miles and miles to a new State, and build a new cabin. No matter how many cabins got burnt down, how many belonings got stolen, he kept on going. He was a good guy. He just took things into his own hands and shot a few bad guys, so what?

And my Kyle Bear is the same. Except Better. By a lot. No offence, Porter.

You can view a photo of his wife, Luana, by clicking this link.

http://www.emilyamandarockwell.com/index_files/page39.htm

(I think that picture will give me nightmares...)

June 22, 2010

(the above photo has nothing to do with this post - I just like this picture!!!!)

The PX Truck was supposed to arrive at Kyle's base the past few days, but so far - no such luck! I am disapointed, but I know it will come back soon enough and we will be able to spend a day together online, and I very much look forward to it. I just hope he is doing well and OK because I know it's probably just as frusterating for him that the 'internet' didn't come. I sent Kyle a package yesterday full of brownies and cakes in a jar, socks, and tuna. Delicious! I decorated the box with pictures of his two favorite Olympic Weightlifters - Dmitry Klokov and Illya somebody. I also put a picture of my favorite Olympic Weightlifter - Kyle Harrington himself!!! Speaking of my favorite Olympic Lifter, he is a video of him in action. I believe he is clean and jerking 275 lbs in this video. Can YOU lift 275lbs over your head? I didn't think so. I, for one, am impressed. Plus, that's not even the max he can do! He is talented.
Kyle doing a Clean and Jerk

Here is a video of Kyle cleaning 300lbs. I believe it was one of his very first attempts, so he didn't get the jerk, but he was still very pleased. And as was I! Good Job, Kyle Bear. You are strong.
300LB Clean

One more video of my love doing a 325LB front squat. He's got some strong legs!!
Kyle Front Squat 325LBS

June 19,2010

This morning, Kyle called me and told me he signed his re-enlistment papers. Another 4 years in Infantry, as a Machinegunner, he said! At first, I was hesitant to believe him, and rightfully so, because as the conversation went on, he started to laugh and told me how easily I can be fooled. So, No. Kyle did not re-enlist. Thank the Heavens.

June 6, 2010

Today was fast and testimony meeting at church. I didn't stand up and say anything, although I kind of felt like I had something to say. So I will say it here! During this deployment, I have begun reading my scriptures alot more. What I am finding, is that when I don't read my scriptures, pray, and do all those things as often as I should, I have trouble getting through a week without hearing from Kyle. When I read my scriptures daily, and stay close to Heavenly Father, I can go a lot longer and still feel okay without hearing from Kyle. I guess what I am trying to say, is when we do what we know is right, we are closer to Heavenly Father. When we are closer to Heavenly Father, we have the spirit with us. I feel at peace, I feel comfort, and I know that Heavenly Father knows Kyle and I. I know that he hears my prayers, and he keeps an eye on Kyle for me while he is deployed.

My parents, Heather, Gary and baby James and I went and played Bocce Ball today at the park by our house. Here are a few pictures I got...except Heather took any that I am in! Bocce Ball is a fun game, especially with my family!







Here are some pictures of Sweet Baby James I took today!

June 5, 2010

Here are some pictures I took today at my dad's Big Band's show.
Kyle called me today. It is always really great to hear from him, and it makes me happy when he calls more than once a week! I think he is having a difficult time lately, and rightfully so, but I am trying to think of something I can do for him to cheer him up. It's hard! Theres not a lot I can send to him because he doesn't have a lot of room to carry things around. But, I think the best thing I can give him is more prayers.

Photos

Some photos I took tonight in the backyard.

The other day, I made a submission to the "Saints At War" Project, which is being conducted by students at BYU. They ask for submissions for those who have fought in each major war in history, or submissions from family members who had/have loved ones serving. The submissions, along with photos (if you send pictures) go into an archive at BYU for students to use as references when studying members of the LDS faith in each war. They have also published many submissions into books, but I'm not sure how they decide which submissions go into the book and which do not. Here is what I submitted about Kyle, along with the picture I sent in, and it will be going into the archives!!




Last year, my fiance, who is now my husband, was deployed to Iraq with his Company in the USMC. His tour was 7 months, full of action and combat. Upon returning home, we were married, and a year later he has been sent to Afghanistan. This deployment is even more stressful, busy, and combat filled than Iraq was. Shortly after my husband, Kyle, left for Afghanistan, I sent an e-mail to the district president in Afghanistan. He later replied by telling me, out of the 750plus members of The LDS Church currently serving in areas all over Afghanistan, Kyle is the only one in his entire district. Talk about standing alone! This has served as a testimony to me that even in times when Kyle is litteraly alone, surrounded by combat, bad language, and many other things that would be easy for him to give into, he stands firm in his beliefes and listens to the promtings of his heart, and makes the right choice every time. Because Kyle is all by himself, he has been given the authority to bless and partake of the Sacrament for himself. Unlike others who are able to go to church on Sundays, despite being deployed, Kyle is in the middle of no where, in a combat zone, with no chuch in sight. For this reason, I send him Church Magazines in each package, share favorite scriptures with him in my letters, and always try to remind him that just because he is the only LDS member does not mean he is really alone, because Heavenly Father is always with him. During this deployment, I have recieved a strong testimony of Heavenly Father truly caring about each and every person's individual situation. I do not think either of us, my husband nor I, could get through this without the guidance and protection of God. Kyle has called me more than once, sharing frightening expiriances where the outcome should have indeed been death. But because of a loving and caring God, who listens and answers the prayers of Kyle and I, and our families, Heavenly Father is keeping a watchful eye on him. One such expiriance Kyle had told me about, was an RPG landing just a few feet away from him and his friend, while in a firefight, a few months ago. They both looked at it, stunned, because it never went off. What are the chances of that? That is not luck, that is a god thing! My testimony of prayer, tithing, fasting, and scripture studying has grown so much due to my husband's deployment. Most things in life really are blessings in disguise, if we just take the time to really look and think about it. I heard a quote in church on Sunday, where a father asked his daughter what she felt the hardest thing about being the only member of the LDS church in her school was. She replied "The hardest thing is believing that something is right, when everyone else thinks it's wrong, and believing that something is wrong, when everyone else thinks it's right." I, too, imagine that would be the hardest for my husband, as he faces this deployment with no other LDS members by his side. He does, however, assosiate himself with good people out there, who may not be LDS but share some of the same standards when it comes to certain issues. I am thankful that there are good people all over the world, and even though they don't belong to a specific group, they help strengthen their friends and are supportive and understanding. I am thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who I know answers prayers. I know he knows each of us. I am thankful for my husband Kyle, and the example of strength he is to all that he meets. I know that having the gospel in his heart is certainly a blessing for him while in Afghanistan.

Church History

Smith Family Farm house

Palmyra, NY.

The Sacred Grove

http://www.lds.org/library/display/0,4945,104-1-3-4,00.html

Different Languages

The Book Of Mormon is translated into nearly every language, including ASL.

Printing Press

This is where the first copies of the Book Of Mormon were printed. All this work was done by hand. From the printing to the binding. Each letter was individually placed on a sheet, covered in ink, upside down and backwards, so that it would appear correctly on the pages.

An Original Copy

One of the prettiest looking books I've ever seen!
http://scriptures.lds.org/bm/content

Kirtland Temple

The Kirtland Temple is owned by "The Community Of Christ".
http://www.kirtlandtemple.org/

Nauvoo Temple


Nauvoo Temple

The Nauvoo Temple was burnt down after it was originally built. It was reconstructed to look exactly as it did before it burnt down.
http://www.nauvootemple.com/

Door in Liberty Jail

This door is original. There are 2 bullet holes in the door, one of which killed Hyrum Smith.

Outside view of Window

When Joseph Smith was shot, he fell through the top window.
http://www.lds.org/placestovisit/location/0,10634,1811-1-1-1,00.html

Winter Quarters Temple

This is the only temple not named after the city it is in. There is a graveyard beside it where hundred of LDS pioneers were burried when they passed through here.
http://www.lds.org/placestovisit/location/0,10634,1837-1-1-1,00.html


Seeing all the LDS Church History first hand was my favorite trip I have been on. When you see first hand, and hear some of the things those people had to go through, you realise alot! For example, how blessed we all are to live in a time where we can believe and think what we want without getting run out of our homes, beat up, or even killed. Especially in Palmyra, when we learned more about The Smith family, I really realised that Heavenly Father knows everyone individually, and he puts things, events, and other people, in our life for a purpose. Sometimes things don't work out the way we want them to, but if we look close enough, there is always a reason. I gained a strong testimony during this trip of what the Gospel is really about.It is about doing the best you can do, being kind, sharing, and loving one another. I never want to tell someone what they think is wrong, because it's not. It's sort of like, if someone is doing a puzzle, and there are a few pieces that have not been put together yet - you don't tell them they've done the puzzle wrong, do you? No, because they haven't. There are just a few pieces missing.

June 2, 2010

My husband and I woke up bright and early (although, technically it was so early it was dark outside....) My husband and I woke up dark and early one morning in January. He was leaving for training again. He would be gone for one month, in California, for CAX. We packed his heavy gear into the car and drove to the base, where we waited for a few hours together before he had to leave. After our last hugs and kisses, he walked away, and that all to familiar feeling of "this sucks" came over me. But, I tried to be optimistic, as always, knowing he would be back again very soon. I went home. The next morning, for reasons I can't even explain, I decided to take a pregnancy test. I didn't even suspect I was pregnant, I don't know why I took it. Because it was there, I guess. I took it. I left it on the bathroom counter as I went into the other room to get cleaning supplies to start my intense clean of the apartment before my flight the next day. Upon returning to the bathroom, I picked up the pregnancy test. Two lines. Two. TWO lines. I squeeled with excitment. I couldn't believe it. I wished I would have taken it the day prior, so my husband could have been home with me when I found out. But, that was not going to damper my spirits. I sent him an e-mail immeditely. A few hours later I shared the happy news with our family. I was so excited, and so happy. I went about my day feeling a way I had never felt before. I loved my husband even more than I did before this happy news,which I didn't think it was possible to love him more! I was cheerful, I was feeling great. I flew to Canada to visit my family while Kyle was at CAX, and it was great to see everyone. Everyone was excited and happy for Kyle and I. My sister, mom and I bought lots of baby clothes, blankets, and supplies. I had my first doctors visit and had some blood tests done where it was confirmed. I was indeed pregnant. A few days later Kyle was finally able to check his e-mail. He e-mailed me back and told me some of the sweetest things he ever said to me. He was so happy. We both were! At the end of a great month, I flew back home to Jacksonville. A few days after I arrived, my husband was home. I went to the base around midnight to pick him up. When we saw each other, big smiles were on both our faces. It's always great when he comes home!! The months after, everything was great. I had pregnancy symptoms, but nothing too bad. I felt awfuly tired, aches, and had some weird feelings in my tummy. Everything was bliss. Until February 17th. The morning started out fine. We got up and had a quick breakfast, took Kyle to work, and came home, as usual. Later in the morning, I started to have light bleeding. I thought nothing of it, as I knew this was very common in early pregnancy. As the day progressed, so did the bleeding, and so did the pain. It didn't get very bad until evening. I called my mom and sister, crying, telling them the bleeding wasn't stopped. Kyle and I decided to go to the hospital. By this point, the pain was so bad I could hardly move. I wanted to scream. There is not a word for the pain. It hurt. Very very very very bad. Kyle drove to the hospital, and when we got there, we waited. We waited. We waited and waited and waited. Finally, they got us into a room, where we waited. Eventually, I had several tests done. One of which was an internal ultrasound. The entire time I was praying that the baby would be okay, and maybe there was just some complication. Suddenly, during the ultrasound, I heard a noise. A heartbeat! I thought everything was fine. The baby was okay. Until, after about 2 minutes of me hearing this noise, the nurse told me it was blood rushing to my ovaries. Not a heartbeat. Thanks for letting me know, because the sounds are identical. After the ultrasound, we waited more. We were there from 6pm the previous day, until about 10 in the morning. The doctor came in and told us the news. Which, of course, we had already figured out 10 hours ago. My heart felt broken. We drove home silently. We went to sleep, all day. Kyle held me closer than ever, as we slept. I knew he was upset. I don't think he was having as hard a time as I was, because he didn't have any emotional connection with the baby like I had. He hadn't felt the baby move, it wasn't inside him. He was sad, but I think he knew that I needed him to be strong. I was having an extremely difficult time, and if it weren't for him, his support, kindness, and his love, I don't think I would have gotten out of bed for weeks. The next day, Kyle's dad and his twin brother arrived for a visit we had been planning. Kyle and I both didn't feel that great emotionally. Physically, I ached for about another 2 weeks. Sometimes the pain was so intense I had to lay down and sleep, and other times it wasn't as bad. Regardless, we both said how happy we were to have family there during that time, and it helped us stay positive and keep our mind off such negative thoughts. Not that we ignored what happened, but we didn't feel like, with Kyle deploying so soon, constantly dwelling on it wouldnt be such a good idea. We had a lot of fun with our family!
Shortly after all this, Kyle was deployed to Afghanistan. Of course, I wish we hadn't had a miscarriage, but if it had to happen, I'm thankful it happened when he was home. I never blammed myself for what happened, and I was never angry with God. I only wondered why. It was easy for me to see Heavenly Father's love for us during this time.

My sister and her baby, and my mom flew down after Kyle was deployed. We took a road trip oon our way to Canada. We stopped at Church History places, all through the USA. It was so much fun, and really great to see all these places. In one place we were visiting, I got my answer. The people who had owned this store that we were visiting, had expiranced 6 miscarriages. They were good friends with the Prophet Joseph Smith. Joseph Smith told them the following quote, after they suffered the loss of losing another child...

"The Lord takes many away, even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again." - Joseph Smith